Valley girls

Last night I went to the Valleywag launch party, but I didn’t go alone. Oh, no — in fear of suffering through being the gender minority at these tech things yet again, I summoned a posse of nine women to attend with me/meet me there. That’s right, Violet Blue has a posse, just like Andre the Giant. Valleywag is a local tech gossip blog, brainchild of Nick Denton and run by a man I call Little Nicky, because he is also named Nick and is adorably bite-sized. Conversation snippets:

Guy from Slate: I wish I had a camera when you came to pick up Xeni the other day.
me: We get that a lot.
Guy from Slate: Your license plate should be “NSFW”.

His friend, former writer: I’ve firgured out what the big Vallywag gossip is.
me: What!?
His friend, former writer: It’s that Denton has crossed over his look into “daddy bear“.
me: Does that make Little Nicky a cub or an otter?
His friend, former writer: Definitely a cub.

Annalee Newitz: Charlie Girl and I have to go — let’s go *get* Little Nicky.
(I make introductions.)
me, to Little Nicky: So, do you live here yet?
Little Nicky: Yes, I live in a commune in [SF neighborhood].
me: You’re in a cult!
Annalee Newitz: A sex cult!
Melissa Gira: Oh, I’ve heard of that cult!
Little Nicky: I don’t think it’s a cult.
me: Oh, you just haven’t been through auditing yet.
Melissa Gira: That cult is all about extending the pleasure of the female orgasm, they’re Tantrikas.
Little Nicky: I haven’t seen anything like that going on.
me: So what’s the big gossip you’re launching with tomorrow?
Little Nicky: I can’t tell you that.
me: That’s because you’re in a cult!
Annalee Newitz: That’s the gossip!
Little Nicky: I don’t think it’s a cult.

(photo: Melissa Gira + me, by Scott Beale, his post on the event is here)

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New link madness

I was supposed to be working for like ten different people today and instead I added a very long list of (overdue) links to my site — they’re groupe-groped on my front page right now, and already folded into my links page. I’ve also made a new note on my link policies, making clear what I thought was obvious, which is *no reciprocal links* so hopefully I’ll stop getting those annoying and unethical “I’ve added you, now you add me” emails.

Cool find of the day: the sex furniture at Extreme Restraints. What’s a girl gotta do to get a review copy of an Adjustable Spanking Bench!? (Note: this site carries crappy and dangerous Anal Eze, desensitizing creams and “shrink cream”, all of which are really really bad to use on your genitals. I’m not saying to shop here, just marvel at and fantasize about the neato furniture, like The Anal Impaler, which is WAY safer than the Anal Eze.)

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Interesting stuff to do with your eyes

For New York’s Gothamist the Lusty Lady herself, Rachel Kramer Bussel, interviews sex educator Ellen Friedrichs — who wrote the intense and uplifting essay “South Bronx Sex Ed” in my book Best Sex Writing 2005. And proving that she just can’t sit still, Rachel hovers for a minute to tell us how many pies she’s fingering in the very cool “What Are You Working On” series at Too Beautiful. Carol has edited a hot and dirty new anthology called Whipped: 20 Erotic Stories of Female Dominance and I have a really explicit short story in it about a girl-girl femme top forced sex encounter — and I rarely write erotica. If you missed Xeni on CNN, read the transcript and marvel at how she summed up the porn, COPA and privacy argument in the (practically) twenty seconds she got to speak.

I took Jackson to the SRL Chinatown LA afterparty and he posted excitedly about it for the Bay Area Blog Pulse on SFist (love that phonecam pic); Scott took fantastic photos of us going crazy with the huge bag of fireworks I brought — and incredible photos of the shop itself.

And no link, but just a thought that’s been nagging at me that I must vent in utter frustration: I do love the Daily Show ever so much, but goddammit it’s *such* a fucking sausage fest.

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Watch Xeni Tonight

Get your copy of Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children From Sex ready and watch Xeni debate porn, the “Child Online Protection Act” and your privacy rights on CNN tonight. Feel free to thump Judith Levine’s excellent book every time someone says something stupid about porn creating child molesters and Xeni reminds them that porn is made for, made by, performed by and enjoyed by *adults*…

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Morning Coffee, The Crash Version

* San Francisco sex luminaries lose favorite San Francisco eatery: yesterday at 8:30pm a Buick plowed into Carol and Robert’s favorite restaurant, Cafe delle Stelle. Fortunately they were not in their customary window seat; all injured are in stable condition.

* Blame it on the valet: a lesson in choosing your valet wisely, a la Craigslist — because only car owners should get laid by stinky hos in their own ride.

* Porn star Anna Malle died in a car crash on wednesday; she wasn’t wearing a seat belt on a Nevada road that has seen over 11 accident related deaths in the past six months.

* My hero of the moment: 17-year-old Marina Gatto, Bay Area high school gay marriage activist who routinely gets her pride flag burned and her car keyed by hostile fellow students.

* Actual car sex positions. (Hideous illustrations, but it’s cute they used a VW Beetle. What are they saying about VW owners?)

* For the solo driver there’s the Deluxe Auto Vibe, powered via cigarette lighter — though purists should note it *will* compete with your automotive iPod power source.

* Another one for the fetish files: how to have sex with a car. Yes, *with*. The hot tailpipe should be obvious, but I guess it never hurts to spell it out.

* And there’s always Car Stuck Girls (photo via; or Maxx Manboeuf’s utter dedication to the Japanese “Race Queen” (as in, race cars).

Update: irony of ironies — the night of this post (last night) I got a flat and had to change a tire in Chinatown in the pouring rain. At least I had the sound of Chinese New Year fireworks to keep me going… So when I got home I ordered Chinese delivery 🙂

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The pope (Joey Ratz!) is totally going to put a fatwa on my head: the Spanish translations of my fellatio and cunnilingus books are out in print! Yay and hooray for El Arte del Sexo Oral: Felacion and El Arte del Sexo Oral 2: Cunnilingus la Guia Definitiva. The publisher is in Spain, so the resources are filled with all kinds of great Spanish sex resources; what’s most exciting to me is seeing these books on their merry way into the hands of Catholic citizenry in all Spanish-speaking countries. Especially including my own state of California, where 1 in 4 speak Spanish. But considering how pissed off Focus on the Family (and the Pro-Life Coalition!) was about the fellatio book, I can only imagine that my popular brand of all-orienations, nonjudgmental sex ed will cause some sort of (admittedly cool) ruckus. But I found out from my publisher that this is only a sample of the subverison to come: I’m celebrating tonight the news that my oral sex books, with all their lip-licking revelations and enthusiatic blowjobs — are about to be translated into Turkish. In Turkey. Wow. Cause they *love* the head there. Though for sure I’ll probably never be able to travel in that country.

Also, today I took a swipe at the SF Chronicle on SFist for the fact that their journalists can’t even be bothered to click a link — or learn the (huge) difference between a podcast and a pay for play radio show.

Read: SFisting: Our Famous Local Sex Podcasters, For Reals

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