AVN, pin-ups on the moon, adware porn convictions, sex patents and more

poledancer.jpg* Great sex links over on Boing Boing — as usual, the blog moves so fast, blink and you miss them. I *love* the story Playboy centerfold pranks from the late 1960s — the astronauts had no idea they were carrying cheesecake until they were *on the moon* — so very cool.

* Also, read this chilling post, Teacher faces 40 years for porn in classroom, blames adware. I think we all know what it’s like to work at a company and have a tech problem (often that we know how to fix ourselves) but get no solution until something bad happens. The school’s internet filter license had expired and no one did anything about it — and now she’s going to be sentenced for “four counts of risk of injury to a minor in connection to pornography the students saw on her computer screen”. This proves that we don’t need to fear the government as Orwells’ Big Brother — we *are* Big Brother now.

* Another Boing Boing porny bonus: NPR “Xeni Tech”: Tech and Porn collide in Vegas. Xeni went to AVN and CES (I’m sure she had to autoclave her entire body afterward), and brings back a sweet 3-minute report from the front lines. Her post links to the hands-down best coverage of the expo, proudly done by my cohorts at Fleshbot. I can’t even begin to relate how sad I am that I couldn’t go this year. The book distributor’s bankruptcy has me frozen without income for 6 months, and I’m unable to afford to do work like this. I missed seeing friends and doing weird multimedia coverage (and believe me, I was exclusively invited to cover amazing things in wacked multimedia ways at both conventions, I just don’t have the scratch to do it). I actually hate AVN and the suffocatingly heterosexual, hyped up, crass, stereotype-riddled atmosphere — but I also love being such an outsider there, with a handful of other outsiders. It reminds me of why what I do is important and different, and makes me glad I’ll never fit in. (Additional re: Xeni’s post: I already commented on “Janna Tales” here.)

* One of my other internet homes, SFGate, has a terrific article about Kink.com buying the old government armory here in town. Still, they don’t link… but worth a read.

* A great site to add to your bookmarks if you’re a nerdy sex and tech geek like me: X-Rated Patents. Check out the Lap Dance Liner for men, the Male Genetalia Tanning Bed Shield, and a sure way to avoid those pesky boob wrinkles, the Cleavage Anti-Wrinkle Device.

(Photo by Nikola Tamindzic. Check out the creepy/sexy/great Fleshbot AVN photosets on Flickr: day 1, day 2, and day 3)

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Finally, Laughing Squid anniversary photos!

getvgg.jpgIt only took them a few months and an “ahem!” email from me tonight to get the Photoboof photos from the Laughing Squid 06 anniversary party online! Such a fun party — much like last night’s EFF Sweet 16 party (here’s my set). At the Laughing Squid party, I got cute in the ‘boof with two boys who hack — yummy boy number one, yummy boy two.

And OMG — hot GETV girl-on-girl ‘boof action!!!!

Update: A concerned Tiny Nibbles reader emails to warn about nudity and lewd behavior in the Photoboof images, specifically:

* These three pages of cock shots.
* This set of testicles.
* An alarming four pages of asses and titties.

You have been warned.

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More bankruptcy news, oh joy

So, as outlined in my last post about AMS bankruptcy, indy pub authors like me won’t be seeing a royalty check until June/July — pretty intense if this is what you live on, like I *did*. I’m not sure how I feel about the latest news delivered via the RE/Search newsletter, snip:

“The Latest at PGW (Fri Jan 12, 2007)

In a conference call yesterday, PGW clients were explained the details of the offer being formulated by Perseus Books Group [to buy PGW]. According to people familiar with the call, the rough outline of the Perseus plan includes an offer to pay 70 cents on the dollar of what clients are owed up to the date of the bankruptcy filing. PGW would continue operating as is for the next six months before clients accepting the Perseus offer would move over to their distribution facility.

One person familiar with industry bankruptcy proceedings explains that this scenario would both take the PGW debts out of the larger AMS creditor pool and potentially contribute some post-petition profits back to that pool as well. From everyone we’ve spoken to thus far, 70 cents on the dollar–particularly if it’s paid out anytime soon–is more than most clients could have hoped for given the circumstances. But other [worse??] offers could still be made.

There was no discussion of what would become of the PGW staff if this scenario is tendered formally and approved by the court and creditors. Perseus declined to comment on both thedetails of the offer and the staff issue. Today the bankruptcy court will hear arguments on whether publishers can reclaim inventory they shipped to AMS anywhere from 45 days prior to the bankruptcy.

PGW has told RE/Search that all accounts are frozen, presumably meaning: 1) no payments for that fall quarter (yet), 2) our books cannot be returned to us from PGW warehouse, 3) we can’t get out of our contract and seek distribution elsewhere (yet). Hmmm…”

/end RE/Search snip

Obviously, us authors, as usual in the MSM publishing world, have no power here. 70 cents on the dollar — then on this, think of the teensy percentage we authors get from publishers — your contract says 7% of sales, then you only get 70% of that, aaaargh… And it looks like publishers are starting to scramble for survival, from merging (like Perseus and Avalon), to copping a feel on the future of digital distribution (it’s cool; they still don’t get it).

For people like me and Rachel, it’s a tough time to be an author.

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HowTo: Seduce A Mac Geek — A Macworld Sex Guide

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This week’s Chronicle/Gate column is How To: Seduce A Mac Geek — A Macworld Sex Guide. The mail is coming in hot and heavy, here’s a snip:

Avoid Opening Lines About Intel

Also, don’t jump the gun and start talking about the OS X Tiger Family Pack. This is probably the one time you’ll be able to deliver the nerdiest opening pickup line about your second-generation Shuffle you ever imagined and have it work out for the best. You need to make what they call in science-fiction movies ‘first contact.’ Mars, meet Venus; Harry, meet Sally; Sigourney, meet aliens; Nano, meet dock. Here are a few suggestions:

* Talk about the Moscone Convention Center. Examples: ‘What’s that smell? Isn’t that old Greyhound bus station carpet smell romantic?’ ‘Isn’t the security here great/awful/in violation of my civil rights/apocalyptic?’ ‘Are the bathrooms on 5th or 6th Street? Isn’t there a shuttle?’ ‘I’ve been here for 10 days. Do you know the way out?’
* Talk about the reason you’re there. ‘How long have you been a fan of DRM?’ ‘This is one of my favorite places to get free pens with URLs printed on them. Do you like branded Post-its, too?’ ‘The after-parties here are legendary. Did you hear what happened last year at the O’Reilly booth with the Crisco and a stack of Make magazines?’”

Link.

Bonus @ Laughing Squid: today yesterday someone pranked first goatse on the *entire* Apple store. It’s a fun week here!

Update, reader comment: Adam writes, “*Loved* today’s column, the last line in particular. It kinda reminded me of this.”

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Amazing Asian bigboob sculptures

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I have a friend who just had a baby — I think this might be what she feels like right now. Jokes about backing up the milk truck aside, you have to see the rest of the hooteriffic photo set (via), showing the making of these exquisite topheavy sculptures, in a variety of sizes. Can anyone tell me who the mammary-obsessed artist is?

Update 1.12.07: Great news! Tricia Wang emails me saying, “Hey Violet,
I saw your post on the booby artist and asked my friend to translate the Japanese text.
I reblogged it [above] at Eyebeam. Thanks for posting the boobies!”

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PBS’ Mediashift digs deeper into the Google problem

This is a truly excellent piece about the Google sex blog breakdown — it certainly has more information about what happened than any other post or article so far, and it puts forth some constructive critical thought about Google’s emerging power issues. Full, excited disclosure: I’m featured throughout the piece, with quotes I’m proud of — and the cute pic of me was taken by Hacker Boy! Don’t miss Mark Glaser’s in-depth post, Digging Deeper – Google Search Snafu Can Have Huge Impact on Niche Blogs.

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Please don’t take our Lusty Lady away

bussel08.jpgAs reported on Gawker and in my inbox, the spraycan huffing editors at the Village Voice have suddenly axed one of my favorite (and in my opinion, one of the best American) sex columns: Rachel Kramer Bussel‘s Lusty Lady. I’ve always been able to count on her column for the latest sex trends, excellent writing, fierce sex-positive and grrrl-positive opinion and — might I say — some damn good sex column competition from the east coast. But no longer, and we should all be very, very sad. The Voice clearly has its head past its prostate. I mean, just read Rachel’s Fucking and Feminism: Blowjobs, Casual Sex and Rape Fantasies are Under Attack to see what a good thing they’re losing.

Here’s the thing: there are not all that many sex columns around the nation, and certainly few with, ahem, balls. To have a writer like Rachel on staff writing about sex is to have something enviable: who she is and what she brings as a writer and culture critic makes her a *valuable property* — especially on the internet, a tool she seriously know how to mix, bake and frost into delicious viral marketing cupcakes that everyone always seems to want. And unlike many other sex column writers (print or web) she knows a fuck of a lot about sex and sex culture (up to the minute), and importantly, she knows how to *talk about it*.

Evidently the Voice doesn’t get a lot of what’s going on here, which is so sadly typical of le MSM. On monday I did a three-hour taped interview with a big technology research and development company: they wanted to see what technology I used, how I used it, and to show them how I move information and ideas on the Internet. The interviewer had a great quote afterward, saying about MSM trying to understand blogs: “It’s like they’re renaissance critics trying to review street art. They’re jealous, and they don’t get it.”

The Voice doesn’t get it. So who will? Who should snap up Rachel for a sex column? Not Playboy or Hustler — tired, yawn. Spin tried to have Joanna Angel do a column, but that lasted a month: maybe Spin could get it right with an *actual sex writer*. Seems to me that one of these men’s or women’s magazines ought to have a real, hip sex writer working for them instead of the usual debutante biddies they have cranking out the same old, same old articles about how the ladies can “get a fella” or the dudes can “get her to [watch porn, blowjob, anal sex, threesome] with you”.

This is a sad day for the rest of us, who loved the Lusty Lady column and looked forward to it. Rachel — let them eat cupcakes.

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