Finally, a spam conviction

This won’t do anything to stop me from getting those emails telling me I have a small penis (oh wait, those are from Jonno), but it’s interesting nonetheless. Snip from the San Jose Mercury News:

“A man faces a sentence of up to 101 years in federal prison after being the first person in the U.S. convicted under a federal anti-spam law, authorities said.

Jeffrey Brett Goodin, 45, of Azusa, was found guilty Friday of running a ‘phishing’ scheme that tricked people into believing they were giving personal information to a legitimate business. Prosecutors said Goodin then used the information to go on a spending spree.” Link (via Digg)

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Phone sex pranks: Microsoft’s Clippy?

Whoah — I’m Into Clippy is phone sex based on that annoying of all annoying evils, the Microsoft Clippy. It’s over at Phone Sex Pranks, which seems authentic, and slightly offensive to all of us who’d be more likely to jack off to fantasies about killing the ‘office assistant’. And yes — the phone sex worker’s corrections are painful to listen to… but worth it to hear “*sigh* Are you writing a letter, baby?” (Thanks Scott! Also seen @ Gizmodo)

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Your landfill gives me a hard-on

My pal at Masturbate for Peace spotted this contest over on the Viagra website where we’re asked to count the Viagra-branded items in each picture. Big pharma is relentless and with Viagra it’s impossible to come up with entendre-free verbiage to describe this particular type of market penetration. It’s like whoah, suddenly staplers make me think I need a really hard cock. And I just came in for some allergy meds. Weird.

Naturally, the office is sporting a hot, throbbing Mac.

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Nice piece, LAT

For those who follow the vlogs, and even if you’re as sick of hearing about Amanda Condom as I am, there’s a very informative piece about the Rockteboom ugliness over at the LA Times, They rose like a rocket and crashed with a boom by Richard Rushfield. Only thing I’m wondering is, what’s a “vblog”?

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Tangent: Nymphae

It seems that the labia minora, the delicate hairless inner lips that smile coyly from the edges of the vaginal opening, were once referred to as the nymphae. Mythos, Eros; the nymphs were beautiful and randy nature spirits, and when they weren’t gleefully decorating Pan’s maypole or giggling and jiggling him into satyriasis, they were bound to smile coyly from trees and bodies of water — likely lying around all juicy and sighing and daydreaming about the day someone would eventually invent the Hitachi Magic Wand. One might say that it’s only natural this is where the word nymphomania comes from, though that’s hardly a stretch when you’re alluding to horny maidens who dig trees and fountains, if you get my drift. Reasons to smile, indeed.

At any rate, I’m writing about the smarmy little prostate gland today, and tonight. Smug in his seat within the male urogenital system, he has little to do with nymphs and lots to do with satyrs, and I’m excited to finally get to write about this pleasure zone bad-boy and do him some sexual justice. He’ll have more to do with nymphs when I’m through with him, that’s for sure. (“For this book,” she blogged, with a very coy smile.)

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Retrofap: My new favorite blog of the minute

cynthiamyers004.jpgTired of all the retro-looking boobies on the blog today? Too bad! I’m stuck waiting for the DSL dude to show up and lay some pipe or something, and I just love the sexy squishy natural bodies I keep finding today…

And Retrofap seems to be a fabulous source for videos, galleries, vintage Marilyn nudes, cool spooky vampire women, retro babes of the week…

They are clearly Russ Meyer fans here, at least if you are measuring the boobies in metric tons. So, speaking of Valley of the Dolls tribute porn, pictured is Cynthia Meyers, who was in the epic film, and Retrofap has a nice post on her here. It’s a salve for soothing my porn-weary eyes… Plus, we totally need something to cheer us up after the Voice replaced Rachel Kramer Bussel with sexless, pseudonymous yuppies. The comments here say it all about their *hot* new sex column (via Viviane).

(Retrofap found via Sexornot?)

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I can’t stop watching

viva_018.jpg

So neither should you:

* Ze Frank gets all up in that Anshe Chung biz-ness and we see the video Chung’s (nee Graef’s) hubby is calling ‘cyber rape’, to the anger and insult of actual rape survivors worldwide and the discredit of animated penises everywhere. (via Tailrank)

* Do not miss the beauty that is Anna Biller’s Viva. Skip the YouTube trailer and go straight to the source, where you’ll find the trailer plus several laugh-out-loud clips — it’s like Valley of the Dolls on GHB! (image via)

* Also spotted while I was trolling for mainstream porn the other day — Italian dirt bike/motocross porn with Rocco Siffredi! The plot of subtly named Furious Fuckers looks complex and ultra-believable– Rocco helicopters in a delivery of horny babes to a dirt track and everyone has unsafe sex for like four hours straight — but the riding, stunts and (most of) the boobs are real! Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up. I kind of want to see the whole video…

* In case you missed it in the last post — *do not miss* the charming, sweet and seriously sexy erotic short film, Honey and Bunny.

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