The holiday parties have begun

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…And I’m taking video! Last night Hacker Boy was my sexy date and we went to the Chronicle newsroom party and then were VIP’d into the Good Vibes Holiday Ball, which was incredible — their best one yet. I wasn’t invited for a few years (heh) but I’m glad I’m back on the list. Plus, I got a gift bag with like five vibrators in it — one for each… uh… I’ll figure something out. I have batteries. I have two hands. And a flashlight.

I shot video at the Chron party (turns out I wasn’t invited to the SFGate party, hmmm), and managed to film Margaret Cho‘s very risque fan dance right when we arrived at the GV Ball. Seriously, when I can get a new camera, the quality will be better, but the videos are fun, and embedded after the jump. Next week I’ve been invited to a gay porn holiday party in a suite downtown… yay! A couple more photos from the GV Ball (like the one above — she liked posing for me) are in my Flickr stream.


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when I got to the Chronicle newsroom party last night I didn’t know anyone, so I made a video. turns out, I had a blast! I look tired — I’m still battling jet lag from hell, and slept 15 hours last night, ugh. as it happens, this was the newsroom party — while the online version of the chronicle had their own party across town at the same time. after this video, newsroom people warmly introduced themselves to me all evening, excited and congratulating me like crazy and asking ‘when are we getting you in print!?’ ‘I want to illustrate your column!’ ‘I read it every week and love it!’ so it was interesting to discover later that I wasn’t invited to the online (sfgate) party — pretty much the opposite of who I expected would include or exclude me. the paper loves me. the online editors… hmmm….

next year, I’m *so* busting out the disco moves for the newsroom party.


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I walked in to see Margaret Cho doing an ultra-hot fan dance — I had no idea she had so much ink on her body. very, very sexy — while filming, I was given a handful of drink tickets from one of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence… it was a great start to a really fun party! this was shot with my crappy point and shoot so quality could be better, I know 🙂

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The anniversary of the exalted and the detrimented

A regular reader asks me a few personal questions, and since I’m wide awake at 2am and the holidays are at hand to remind me of family stuff, I felt like answering them. Q and A is after the jump.


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A reader asks,

“Moreover, like Hacker Boy, I want to ask the questions others won’t:
[22 Oct 06 “He asks me endless questions about what my life was like when I
was homeless and living on the streets for four years as a teen; no one has
ever asked me about this time.” WTF? Why not?]
Did you ever know your father?
Are either of your parents still alive?
Why do you sound vaguely Canadian?
What gave you hope?”

Why not?

I don’t know why my boyfriends and lovers never ask about this — once my past is out in the open, it becomes this sort of no-go area for the rest of the relationship, and no one has ever dug and queried like Hacker Boy. I could say for certain that in a few cases, it’s been that I’ve dated men who would rather be talking about themselves than anything else. But I also think that my stories are like horror stories for many people, and that the stories — I — make people uncomfortable. It’s too awful, and people just don’t want to know. It’s why I avoid holiday gatherings, especially with families. They always ask where my family is, and I won’t lie, but I can’t seem to sweeten my answers — and if any of the truth comes out, I’m like this thing everyone feels sorry for the rest of the night. Holidays and holiday dinner parties become for me the anniversary of the exalted and the detrimented. I’d rather be alone. But I think that if you really care about someone you ask the hard questions; I seek to be understood in relationships, but that’s rare.

Did you ever know your father?

I grew up calling a whole bunch of different guys “daddy”. Hell’s Angels, drug dealers, and one unbelievably physically and emotionally abusive Latino welder (my mother was actually married to him for a while). I remember coloring at the kitchen table while he punched her and dragged her by the hair across the kitchen, and put a kitchen knife to her throat. She sobbed, and said “god is watching you” which I think made him stop. This was “daddy”. I didn’t find out until I was ten that my real father was alive — she’d told me he died in Vietnam. After I got off the streets I used my status as his daughter to obtain his war records, then tracked him to a midwest state; I went to meet him and he talked to me for fifteen minutes, giving me a whole different (and I think, true) version of what happened between him and my mother, and then he asked me to leave and never come back. That was when I was 23. I was really glad I met him as an adult, so I could just see he was some fucked up guy — and not worth me giving him the emotional value of a father.

Are either of your parents still alive?

I have no idea, and I don’t care. I have a real family now.

Why do you sound vaguely Canadian?

Eh? Must be all the beer.

What gave you hope?

People.

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GETV Roboexotica video #2!

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Image by Jacob Appelbaum.

The second Roboexotica 2006 GETV episode is up! In it, I interview more robot makers, Jonathan Moore is so not helpful explaining what his machine does (“It makes a drink, and you drink it”), I coin a new bukkake term, and I drink throughout the video. I’m guessing you could put together quite a sequence of me drinking from both videos; I suggest watching both videos and making a drinking game out of it!

Watch More Cocktail Robot Madness from Roboexotica 2006, it’s quite fun. Also, check out the funny Lunchmeet interview with Joahnnes, the festival director and the crazy, crazy man whose house I stayed at in Vienna with Eddie and Jonathan. (Werd — can’t Podtech afford a URL for Lunchmeet? Also, their home page seems to be suffering from the SFGate columnist syndrome; it’s hard to find Lunchmeet from the front page; a category link in the tag cloud would be nice. Bummer, it’s a great show.)

Update: Coolness! The cigarette launcher facial recognition bot has a website (and presumably, a posse)! I *loved* these guys — they basically made a Pitching Machine for cigarettes — check out werpbot: this bot can harm you.

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Chron column: Knitting for adults only

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At SRL for many months, us women in the shop have built up a frothy reservoir of angst toward Make Magazine for never putting forward women makers (as opposed to women crafters), and the whole overall “make is for boys, craft is for girls” vibe the empire exudes — don’t get me wrong, I’m friends with many of the Make people and love what they do and they’ve been very nice to SRL, but it’s just been irking us dirty-hands, hardware–robot-machine-hacking SRL grrrls for a while, and it’s even still a subject of discussion around the SRL shop and other environs.

So, that said, my new Chron column is up: Knitting for Adults Only. In it, I do snark on the girly-craft thing, but found my head totally turned by Nikol Lohr, the totally awesome author of Naughty Needles — and in my mini-interview, she likens the sexiness of knitting to the panty-wetting allure of someone who can rebuild a set of carburetors. My kind of girl, indeed — and I’m not kidding in the article when I say her new book totally goes on my porn shelf, it’s red-hot. Snip:

“Much to my surprise, San Francisco’s real sexual revolution seems to be happening neither on the streets of the Castro, nor in the sex-positive, women-owned sex shops, nor in Victorian apartments besieged by prolific feminist porn companies. Instead, it is happening in the last place I’d think to go shopping for a whip. At this very moment, the new discourse about reinventing intercourse (and many non-vanilla-flavored activities) is happening at the neighborhood yarn store.

(…) Two women wrestle in cavegirl bikinis. Pasties are modeled by a sexy lineup of women who could only belong in a San Francisco burlesque troupe. “Kinderwhore” is a knitting pattern for naughty schoolgirl socks shown on two mischievous adult schoolgirls. In one adorable photo, a demure model pouts amid a pile of sex toys and hand-crafted cozies for almost every sex toy that keeps Good Vibrations in business. Lest we forget that the ingredients for marital bliss can include love, a paddle and deft needles, one image shows a babe in latex playing cards on the back of a man made into a human table by way of the knitted blindfold and cuffs she’s administered.” Link (+ that’s Lohr in the sexy nurse uniform!)

Update: Boing Boing blogged me! Also, I had no idea Rachel and I were on the same meme trail — she also wrote about sexy knitting in her Voice column, and it’s (of course) a terrific piece! Mmmm, Rachel, yarn, cupcakes… ::sigh:: Don’t miss it.

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2006 Sexy Geek nomination time!

Last year I posted my top ten sexiest geeks of 2005 list on the 18th, and I’m going to aim for the same date this year — so if you have any nominations or suggestions for me, send them in: violet at tinynibbles dot com Last year’s sex geeks are still lickable, but will have to sit this year out — check the list to avoid double noms.

Wired has their list up and a really nifty way to vote on their selections for the Wired sexy geek ‘o the year — check it out.

I’m happy to see that there’s isn’t anyone on their list that would be on mine — no overlap, and yay more sexy geeks — but then, my list is very much at my own discretion. For instance, I take suggestions, but already have a file I’ve been compiling all year. I mean, I’m talking, let’s find the h4wt GILF material for reals — from my criteria last year, “I’m focusing here on computer and tech geeks; while sexy geeks come in all tasty flavors, I wanted to stick with the geek types I know are not just hot, but pervy enough to give the fantasies a little more fire *while* coding a script to run your vibrator in twenty more different ways via the web. I’m not counting celebrity geeks, as they occupy a more privileged realm than most and if given half a brain can buy their way into at least *looking* like a geek.”

Whose vlog makes you leave lube on your mouse? Someone do a hack that made you sweat and shiver? See a hottie making waves on the interwebs whose panties just might be 2.0 buzzword compliant? Who has the most hackable ass? Were you once temped to molest a signifigant passed-out Google, Yahoo, Technorati, Digg, Apple, (koff) Microsoft employee? Come across anyone you wish would spank you with a PSP while whipping your ass with mad skillz in WoW? Whose glasses would you like to lick, pocket protector you’d find wicked new uses for, who’d you most like to play “hide the handheld” with?

You know the kind. Single or not — it’s all in fun. Tell me! Image via the Linux Sluts Gallery.

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Girls Gone Wild sentenced; another questionable US Gov’t anti-adult provision

Sex.com isn’t the only bizarre porny business story on my radar; Joe Francis, the founder and director of the Girls Gone Wild video series is looking like another Hiassen character on the loose; he’s robbed at gunpoint and forced to perform in a bend-over-boyfriend extortion video, has been arrested on charges of racketeering and drugs, and the LA Times profile in which he publicly sexually humiliated the female journalist on the story signifigantly raised his douchebag quotient (DQ). Now his guilty plea in using underage girls (gone wild with lawyers, natch) got him a tidy little sentence today. Snip:

“The founder of the “Girls Gone Wild” video empire was sentenced to community service Wednesday for his company’s guilty plea to federal charges of failing to monitor the ages of the women in its videos.

The company, Mantra Films Inc., also agreed to pay $1.6 million in fines for using drunken 17-year-olds in videos it filmed on Panama City Beach during spring break and failing to properly label its DVDs and videos as required by federal law.” Link.

And I caught this disturbing item on Fleshbot yesterday: much like the post I did on how McCain’s new law would extend obscenity laws to blogs (and ISP’s and hosting providers), the Techweb Blog has an excellent post on the new provisions Attorney General Alberto Gonzales wants to make into law requiring ‘adult’ sites to label themselves. Which is sensible on the cover, but peek inside and the definition of “sexually explicit” is scary-vague, and like COPA, it leaves plenty of room for non-US sites to do whatever they want. Of course, the line is that it’s “for the children”. They’ve even included “language sought by the administration that would impose fines of $50,000 to $300,000 for Internet Service Providers or others who do not report users who are downloading or accessing child pornography.” Link.

Both McCain and Gonzales’ laws want to go after hosts and internet service providers, under vague languages. Which, in online terms, is an effective means of making you disappear. Whacked!

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Sex.com — a URL worth dying for?

In a twist worthy of a James Ellroy novel, con man Stephen Cohen — who forged a letter convincing Network Solutions to give him possession of the URL sex.com (via VeriSign) and whose whereabouts are still unknown — can now add “gangland murder attempt” to the new chapter in his real-life, sex.com neo-noir crime drama. When the URL’s owner, Gary Kremen, had the courts order Cohen to return Sex.com and pay him $65 million in damages, Cohen fled to Mexico — after he’d had the URL for three years, allegedly making $500,000 a month selling banner ads to other online porn sites. Come to think of it, the whole story (now 11 years in the making) could only be written by Carl Hiassen to have a fitting and sensible end — especially when you throw in a history that includes a convicted felon, a private investigator with a Stanford MBA, a Match.com startup dot-commer (now former) tweaker, a daughter caught smuggling 202 pounds of marijuana, a bizarre bid to buy Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, and the operator of a Mexican shrimp farm. Don’t forget the Tijuana assassination attempt.

Now, Cohen is on the lam again and his lawyer in Mexico was attacked in a old-school Mafia-style whack attempt last week, injuring the lawyer’s cab driver and a young boy. Think Cohen will show up for his San Jose court date next February? Yeah, sure. Snip from Red Herring:

“The shooting came one day after Stephen Cohen, the man who fast-talked his way into control of sex.com in 1995, was ordered released from jail so he could round up $65 million he owes Gary Kremen, the programmer turned Internet entrepreneur who sued to recover control of the domain name he registered in 1994.

The lawyer who was attacked, Gustavo Cortés Carvajal, is believed to be the only person with access to some of Mr. Cohen’s assets in Mexico, including a Tijuana property the two men jointly own.

He was unhurt after gunmen in Tijuana fired numerous rounds at the vehicle in which he was traveling, but the driver and a four-year-old boy were injured in the attack.

Mr. Cohen’s whereabouts remain unknown and he has not been tied to the shooting, but Mr. Kremen on Monday would not rule out that possibility.” Link. (via Valleywag; also, more background here)

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