Inject me with your penis so that I may experience sex

Everything is wrong with this: Frequent Sex Cures Women’s Semen Allergy. Argh. Ugh. Eeep. This is a real allergy. But semen is not sex. (I think of it as a delicious frosting.) And the assumptions in this article about women, sex and marriage are hysterically funny, or tragically demented. You will learn nothing about semen allergy in it. Read this snip and cry along with me at home: “Treatment, Resnick says, comes in two forms.

One is allergy shots containing small doses of the male partner’s semen. The other is a technique called intravaginal seminal graded challenge. In this treatment, which takes several hours, every 20 minutes a doctor places increasing amounts of the partner’s semen in the woman’s vagina. Both treatments require that the woman and her husband have sex at least two or three times a week.”

If it’s really a graded challenge, I’m all set for the finals. I even studied this morning before working on this week’s column.

Can you tell I’ve been writing all day and need food/water/to get out of this chair?

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The NY Times on videoblogging

I’m off to SRL in a bit, but just read this article in the New York Times magazine today about videoblogging, with a focus on the funny: The Online Auteurs by Matthew Klam. It’s interesting, informative and totally worth reading, especially hot on the heels of last weekend’s Vloggies — it ends nicely with Ze Frank saying smart things and includes a few of the top Vloggies winners. However, there is one glaring, glaring omission. No Galacticast. Like, duh! But then again, when I look at the piece and see that it’s all guys, it starts to make sense. Anyway, big ups to Queen Kong.

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Saturday nibbles

* Holy shit, condom ads that joke about rape and HIV?! Reader E writes me, “I’m writing specifically about your Pronto Condoms blog entry on 6/11. I’m not sure if you’re aware, but the ‘Jacob’ in the male advert is Jacob Zuma – the South African politician who ‘took a shower to avoid HIV‘ I’m not going to get into my opinions of the trial, since I’m still learning AND there’s that whole South African/American cultural difference. I’m not so sure that an accused/acquitted rapist is the best choice of a spokesman.” This video seems in bad taste, even if sexblo.gs reassures us it’s a parody — is it?

* A good number of writers and bloggers know it’s NaNoWriMo or National Novel Writing Month, where during November the challenge is to write a 50,000 word novel in one month. But few people know the November is also GLoRoMo, or Global Rope Month; the challenge being to complete 50,000 ft of rope bondage in one month. Awesome! It’s being sponsored by my pal Twisted Monk, who has all the details. (He tied me up once. I struggled!)

* Speaking of ropes, this is neato: ‘Spider Girl’ gang held in Chile. Snip, “The all-girl gang of teenagers were infamous for climbing up buildings in Santiago to burgle luxury apartments. (…) Lurking in the gardens of expensive parts of Santiago, the four girls hurled ropes and hooks up to balcony railings, hauled themselves up and walked through the flat windows. They then walked out of the buildings as if they were visitors.”

* Something else over at BBC News today you shouldn’t miss: Rumsfeld may face abuse charges [Germany]. Snip, “The Centre for Constitutional Rights argues that Mr Rumsfeld was instrumental in abuses committed at Guantanamo Bay and at Abu Ghraib jail in Baghdad. The lawyer group alleges that Mr Rumsfeld personally approved torture to be used to extract information from the prisoners. It is also seeking to prosecute US Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and former CIA director George Tenet, among others.”

* I want a pair of these Walk the Porn shoes super-bad (photo above). Actually, I love all the artwork on Amor Munoz’s blog. They’d certainly be the shoes of choice if a girl had to testify in an obscenity trial. (via sexblo.gs)

* Oh, snap! We all know how hot John Hodgman is — but it looks like Apple is dumping cute Apple Boy Justin Long from their next round of (But) I’m A Mac commercials (though Long will still be the Mac hottie hipster poster boy through the holidays). I’m genetically programmed to seek satisfaction from any and all Apple products, especially the cute ones like Long — BUT, we all know Hodgman looks prettier in a casemod anyway…

* Lastly, thinking again of NaNoWriMo, I’ve made no progress on my book deadline this week. And I’m thinking of hanging it up with the sex guides after this — I mean, a) who can compete with fake sex writers who flash their twats at book signings (oh Mannequin, NO!), and b), now that Karrine “Super Head” Steffans is on the scene with a pile of book contracts, isn’t my work here teaching the world about sexual health and licking clits and deep throating essentially done? Okay — it is *only* if at Steffans’ book signing, she can unhinge her jaw and swallow Cattrall whole. Then I’m done.

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Mr. Satan lives

Spent a nice day at the SRL shop working with Mark: I started an SRL: Shop days photoset here if you want to follow along at home. As you can see, Mr. Satan, made of solid steel, is out of the box and ready for action after over 80 hours in the CNC machine having the steel carved off layer by layer. This was done based on coordinates from a 3D scan of the original Mr. Satan mask, made of plastic, which served as the ‘face’ of an older machine. Next, we’ll carbon arc out the back of the billet, making it a steel mask with open eye and mouth holes — so the fire can escape when we heat him white-hot during shows.

And me? I’m okay — working at the shop resets me. And I haven’t seen Hacker Boy in a while, but he sent me this.

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Octo-fellatio

I found some weird videos yesterday that were also kinda hot — check them out in my Fleshbot post today, Video Playpen: Girls Licking.

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Shouts and thanks and bits — and Vienna!

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* A big thank you to the editor of the East Bay Express — one of their writers had a piece run yesterday that mentioned “Violet Blue” onstage at Exotic Erotic getting naked and whipped — it was *so not* me. I emailed asking for an online clarification because it was coming up in searches, and the paper’s editor wrote me with a promise of a succinct clarification, and he did it right away. It shows me that the East Bay Express values the local sex community, its writers, and has a strong sense of online professionalism — and courtesy. Thank you, thank you, thank you Stephen Buel.

* Mentisworks blog did a tribute — to me! Kind of makes me all blushy and want to hide, except you have to see the awesome photo of Nikki gettin’ all badazz with the ‘BLOG THIS’ knuckle tats! My dreams of a building/recruiting a femmebot blog army are coming true…

* Wired on boobs! I geeked out on this Wired article about silicone implants. Love the pull-links on the right, all Wired-boob-specific articles, carefully culled for your perusal…

* Suicide Bots calls me out! At last night’s Dorkbot, SB did a firey demo of her new flame-spewing, cocktail-igniting robot she’s building to bring to Roboexotica — a “festival for cocktail-robotics” in Vienna this December. And in her post Strange Things with Electricity Last Night in San Francisco she announces that I’ve agreed to be her Lovely Assistant(TM) at the festival! So I’ll be in Vienna for the fest, following the bot around and administering whipped cream to flaming Spanish Coffees. I forsee drinking, whipping, spilled cream and ruffle-butt panties getting dangerously caught in machinery — if all goes as planned. It’s my first trip to Vienna, and I’m quite excited; lots of friends are going to this fest as well — besides Suicide Bots, also Eddie Codel, Jonathan Moore, V. Vale… I’ll blog and video the whole mess, of course! Photo via k0re.

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Touring the dildo factory

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My new Chron column is up: Violet and the Dildo Factory, where I tour local dildo makers Vixen Creations. Snip:

“We have a dildo factory hidden in plain sight here in San Francisco, and in one sense I did get a Golden Ticket in that I got a tour — a tour with benefits. But then doesn’t every girl want to see where her toys come from?

On the afternoon I toured the Vixen Creations dildo plant I got much more than I bargained for. Sure I got to see acres and acres of erect, happy and proud colorful phalli waiting patiently in rows before being plucked, packed and sent to their final orgasmic destinations.

I also got to see the goop being poured into almost whimsically inverse molded penis holes — and I immensely enjoyed the champagne-like ‘Pop!’ each faux penis made upon extraction from its mold. Somewhere, most certainly, every time this particular cork pops, an angel gets her wings.” Link.

I had a lot of fun writing this piece — but I’m having a lot of non-fun with the deluge of mail in my inbox asking where the links are. The Chron yanked a couple of links at the last minute — the really important links, like to the subject of the column (Vixen Creations), and even more sad for me, the link to my photo documentation (and video) I shot when I was there. I guess the Chron doesn’t trust the validity of Vixen’s age check page (or for that matter, anyone’s). Especially mine — they used to link to me and now they don’t — and I got no small amount of shit about it last night at Dorkbot where more than one person asked, “so are they linking to you yet, or what?”

On the other hand, the Chron has this hella hot ad banner of me on the weather page. It makes me go wow, is that me? (thanks, David)

But the thing is, Vixen doesn’t just give tours there; I made a special request that took no small amount of work and trust to make it happen. Vixen didn’t know what I was going to do, and I had to explain to them that I was unlike others’ they’d dealt with in the press and am sex-positive, totally hip to trans issues, and would protect their trade secrets (essential to a small business). They specially agreed to the photo-taking; it’s an exclusive look inside this amazing place. Plus the photos and video are just kind of cute and silly.

Anyway. Read the article because I love it, and love Vixen. Look at my kewl photos. And holy jeezus in a sparkly rubber thong on a pogo stick, my new VixSkin dicks are inhibiting my social life. Tiny Nibbles gag order photo from last night’s Dorkbot by k0re.

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