Column: The boobs are out of the box, and all over the web

boobs1.jpgI’m delighted to say that this week’s Chron/SFGate Open Source Sex column is all about Boobs in a Box, Dick in a Box, viral videos and memes, SNL’s digital shorts and the culture around all of it. I do excerpt comparisons between the two video’s rap lyrics, try to see how Dick measures up to Boobs, and basically see how many times I get to say “dick” and “boobs” on one single page of the Chronicle’s website. Eeeheehee! Snip from Out of the box and all over the Web:

“But unlike “Dick,” “Boobs” is stacked when it comes to gender commentary, geeky tech references and even local tech/hipster in-crowd hotspots. For instance, while “Dick” begins in a cheesy “romantic” restaurant, “Boobs” opens in a Mission hipster hacker hookup spot, the coffee shop Ritual. While Timberlake co-wrote the lyrics for “Dick,” San Francisco electronic music artist and Nerdcore MC Drown Radio (a.k.a. Doc) provided the tracks, and Jay Deadman (freshly returned from teaching videoblogging in India) shot and edited the video.

boobs2.jpgTimberlake bobs a festive foil box on his crotch; Slutsky‘s extra-large package has mean moves and could double as a serving tray. There is a fan-generated how-to for “Dick”; there is also a how-to for “Boobs” at local nerdy maker Web site Instructables.

But the best part is comparing the presentation of each gift. While in the “SNL” video the opening of the “Dick” box is anti-climactic, the “Boobs” boxes seem to hold mystical powers over the men lifting the lids — the eyes of the nerdy tech boys shine with awe, wonder and glee.” Link.

OMGUPDATE: A reader just sent me My Box in a Box. “This is an even better video than boobs in a box (in my opinion).” I dunno about *that*, but damn, it’s got beavers, muffins, tacos, Britney and Timberlake… 😀

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Hands off my content!

Last night Casey emailed us GETV kids alerting us to a website — — republishing video content without videobloggers’ permission and plastering it with ads. When I went to the site and searched for my name I found a bunch of my videos as well — plastered with Cingular ads, among other companies! Whoah! So. Not. Cool. Holy Creative Commons license violations, Batgirl! What makes someone think this is okay? The situation seems to be getting resolved thanks to Mike at Blip — the content has been taken down. But it’s hard to not feel like they should have given us all a cut of the ad money they made off our content. Grrr. They suck. Sleazy startups, being douchebags again…. *sigh*

See also, link: MyHeavy Stealing Works Without Permission (

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Not-so-funny anti-porn hysteria ads on my Chron column, and why enjoying porn is healthy

Sweet Denver reader damperdan sends me a screencap of the Google ads running with my column at SFGate. WTF? The people behind these ads propagate the worst kind of hurtful and shaming myths about porn and sexuality, and it’s running side-by-side with my sex-positive, pro-porn, yay-sex message. On one hand, it’s funny in a truly snarky-irony way, and I’m really not worried that my readers (of all genders and orientations) reading my column will feel bad about how they make themselves feel good — like jacking off to porn. Also, it’s funny to see such blatantly exploitative tactics in their ads, next to my rational, thoughtful perspectives on porn and sex: the contrast speaks volumes.

But then there’s how these anti-porn clowns damage people who maybe aren’t totally okay with their sexuality, who may be feeling lots of conflicting feelings about their sexuality, and have no one to talk to about it. Everyone — everyone — has sexual fantasies that sometimes make you feel bad (or concerned) afterward about what turned you on and got you off. But not everyone knows that it’s a normal thing, and that fantasy is just that — and that porn is merely a sex toy to fuel our fantasies. The “porn cure” people prey on people’s shame, insecurities and self-hate, and exploit that.

I mean, think about it. Why do we look at porn?

* To get off. Explicit visual stimulation has such a powerful arousal trigger — especially sex acts, scenes, or fantasy scenarios that fulfill a particular fantasy — that most women and men can use it reliably to bring themselves to orgasm.

* Curiosity. To see what the big deal is about, and to see people actually having sex. My sexual education grew by leaps and bounds as I watched porn, simply because I saw a variety of types of anatomy, and I truly got an education when I saw my first up-close female ejaculation: I saw how the muscles down there actually moved during a real female orgasm. While porn isn’t great for learning about accurate sex techniques, it can — sometimes inadvertently — be an amazing learning tool for a variety of reasons.

* It’s fun for couples. New couples can add porn to an already-sizzling sex life to push their new sexuality to higher levels, or into new territory. Established couples, especially those with children or other time constraints, might enjoy having a very special adult “treat” that they can enjoy in their private time together. Those who find they like this versatile sex toy can add regular viewing to their sexual repertoire, perhaps mixed in with other variations like fantasy play and sex toys.

* To find new fantasies. In all honesty, most porn is pretty unimaginative. But if you’re tired of the same old thing when you masturbate, you’re not alone — the popularity of sex toys in general underscores the fact that most women and men enjoy variety in their masturbation. Porn is just another way of mixing it up.

* To see or fantasize about things you’d never try yourself. Fantasies of all stripes, from the benign to the extreme, can be found in porn, and this makes adult imagery an especially suitable arena to see something you’d never try yourself, but might enjoy masturbating to. This can range from fantasizing about same-sex erotic activities to getting off watching something you find potentially offensive — like facial come shots, gangbangs, or scenarios involving a hint (or a lot) of force. If it offends or really bothers you, then don’t do it — but if you realize that you’re simply watching consenting adults who seem to be enjoying themselves (and that it’s just a job for them), and that watching them work doesn’t change who you are in any way, you might feel free to use your forbidden fantasies to their full erotic potential.

So, screw those anti-porn people. I hope that with things like my book and this blog, to put those fuckers out of business and make them so broke they can’t afford to advertise on my content.

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Dirtyspoke’s sex blog awards

Dirtyspoke is taking nominations for their 2006 Sex Blog of the Year Awards. Ummm, nominate me if you want? I’m starting to feel like all these online awards things are like those “honk if you’re horny” bumper stickers. Beep! Beep!

I think instead of online voting and awards traffic and attention generators like this, we should have a sex blogger celebrity deathmatch. Trying to drown each other in pina colada flavored anal lube. Dildo bludgeoning with Crystal Jelly King Dongs. Edible underwear eat-to-the-death contests. Suffocation by way of Jenna’s Realistic Cyberskin Vagina (legs and torso not included). Being driven to psychiatric lockdown and violent shaking fits of madness by audio readings of porn boxcover text. Choking each other to death with gummi boobs. Putting out eyes with sharpened Jeff Stryker Realistic Ballsy Love Cocks.

You know, tools of the trade. Survival of the fittest.

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Wow, shoes


This photo set just landed in my inbox. Her name is Tina. Her shoes are… lucky. And here I thought *I* had a shoe fetish.

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Girls of Engineering 2007 calendar


I’m trying in vain to find a decent 2007 desk calendar — but in my searches, I just found the 2007 Girls of Engineering Wall Calendar: Featuring the Smartest and Sexiest Women From the Univeristy of Illinois College of Engineering! And… *adjusts glasses, fondles calipers* someone mind the machine shop, I’ve got some “research” to do over at the Girls of Engineering site!

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Great notes from the porn and tech talk at the 23rd Chaos Communication Congress in Berlin

katymanning.jpgRegine at took really detailed notes during Tina Lorenz‘ Pornography and Technology talk at the 23rd Chaos Communication Congress in Berlin. The post is fantastic, full of great images and linked topics, in three parts: “History of media until the birth of ‘modern porn’”, “Definition of pornography”, and “Teledildonics and Interactive Porn”. I think the last section is really way too short, but it’s still nice to see so much included in one presentation. I wish I could have been there.

Read Pornography and Technology at (also seen @ Fleshbot)

Image: Dr. Who’s Katy Manning in her infamous 1978 nude Dalek photo shoot for Girl Illustrated. (via)

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