My guide to SF, adventures in braille and… Come tasting!

paintedladies.jpg* Metroblogging San Francisco beat me to… blogging about new stuff at Tiny Nibbles! About to land in the left sidebar is my guide to San Francisco, posted last night by Jason DeFillippo who sweetly wrote, “San Francisco’s favourite sex columnist and media maven Violet Blue has launched her guide to the saucy side of San Francisco. It has tips for the sexual tourist as well as awesome recommendations on places to grab a bite, generally hang out and enjoy this fine city.”

* Check out Hornboy’s super-awesome Braille resource page, including a list of blind bloggers and podcasters.

* And… I’m totally in love with The Taste Tester girl, a girl who is a blog who is detailing her experiments with flavoring her boyfriend’s spunk — and it’s as interesting as it is arousing to read. It goes down smooth with my podcast, How do you taste? I especially love her post titles, like Sex Good, Broccoli Bad and sidebar categories like Yuck!

* Now I’m going to do some blog tinkering; I have some hot stuff to blog about but want to fix a few things first… coming soon, dealing with the NYT writer, more possible YouTube discriminatory censorship on other blogs and other stuff — like what’s in The Adventurous Couples Guide to Sex Toys! (Hint: bend over boyfriend, how girls can have crazy orgasms during intercourse/oral sex/strap-on sex, a full-on teledildonics how-to chapter, sex machines, super high-end sex toys…)

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Writers, ropes, boobs, blogs (and a hangover)

shibari* New York Times writer and star of my post when a man hates a woman sent me an epic email yesterday, but prefaced the whole thing with “this is off the record”. One wonders, why bother? What do you think, dear readers — should I post *my* responses to his “off the record” crit of my post, since *I’m* not afraid to speak about this issue?

* Village Voice columnist and cupcake hottie Rachel Kramer Bussel has a nice roundup of the Cake debate, wherein she smears her boobies with frosting, and — oops, my bad. She posts about Cake’s contribution to the downfall of civilization as we know it in The Politics of Cake.

* My bestest pal, prolific erotica author Alison Tyler has a blog! Yay!

* I’ve been immortalized in rope! Celebrated rope bondage (shibari) expert Twisted Monk has made a color of the month in my honor! It’s really beautiful, and sold in a limited supply. Like me. I’m extra-blushing over the name — The Unstoppable Miz Violet Blue — and the text:

“This month’s color is in honor of the one and only Ms Violet Blue; author, activist, sex educator, podcaster, blog star, and possibly one of the sexiest women on-line. The color, much like the rope’s namesake, is a vibrant and complex mix. A deep violet with subtle shades of purple and blue mixed in make this a striking rope that looks almost iridescent when photographed. salutes this asset to the sex positive movement and wishes her many more years of success.”

* I have a big interview with Fatty D (April Flores) on Fleshbot right now, where she talks about her amazing video, peeing in public and her upcoming saturday appearance at San Francisco’s Kink Ink as a human canvas. I can’t wait to meet her in the ahem, flesh, at the event!

* My Onion horoscope is: “Virgo August 23 – September 22: While it’s often understood that racism, by nature, is born of ignorance, your claims this week that the Irish control the media will still seem particularly uneducated.” My bad. Well, I’m only *half* Irish anyway. When my other half — Portuguese — takes over the media, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

* Yesterday Jonno and I got in a tiffle over the use of the word “poon” on Fleshbot. I am now convinced that gay men love the poon. His last reponse to me was “poon poon poon poon pooon poon pooooooooooooooooooon POOOOOOOOOOOOON.”

* Last night I got stood up. I don’t know if it was a date, or just meeting someone for a drink, but I found myself alone and looking like femmebait nursing a drink at 8:30 last night at the Lucky 13, a bar I actually hate. It was half an hour after the agreed-on meet time, and I was sitting there with my phone, trying to look like I was doing something other than drinking a way too strong drink by myself. Which I was. But then… an SRL member happened by! It was happy time, and more drinks were bought. Then I got a call from other robot peeps, out of the blue, who happened to be nearby and… more drinks were bought! We chatted and ranted about machining and CNC routers, robot combat and the Long Now clock and the Rosetta Project. I later found myself outside a different bar nibbling on a robot-welder girl’s neck (who shall now be known here as Evil Bunny). Then, walking on the way home, I toddled over to a friends‘ house in a joyfully inebriated state — which is a fun way to deal with being stood up, by the way — and being the dutiful sex educators they are, let me in and made me… another drink. I spilled it, but good times were had, and we blabbed about old punk songs, disease transmission, and all kinds of fun stuff.

My head hurts, but I’m thinking I need to get stood up more often.

* Image via Diva’s Debauchery: Shibari, column by Midori.

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violet at the exploratorium
Hope this works! looks extra hella cool. Here’s my text:

Liz Hickok’s amazing installation San Francisco in Jell-O was featured as part of the earthquake exhibit at the Exploratorium in San Francisco, last saturday, April 1st. This is my video of the teeny-tiny jello SF; I was sad it was only of the Exploratorium neighborhood and bay (and not the whole city), but it was really really cool nonetheless. Liz is talking, shaking the little city to make it look like an earthquake, and there is fake fog (!) being blown across the mini-city the entire time. There was a huge line to see this, and everyone was smiling from ear to ear. Photo: self-portrait of me at the Exploratorium.

* * * * * * *

Watch the Video

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Let them eat… You know

rachel and her cupcakesLast week local paper SF Weekly ran a seven page article about Cake, the New York grrrl-power sexy party, who had their debut San Francisco party a few weeks back. I met Emily from Cake at the Center for Sex and Culture where we both shared the stage to celebrate the release of Carol‘s new book, Whipped. Emily was cute and smart and cool; she gave me a free copy of the Cake book and we chatted and joked. I didn’t make it to the party, even though my Stockroom Forum pal Midori was going.

I joked a few posts ago about the article, saying how it was hilarious the author Eliza Strickland made references to Playboy (and how dated that is, all by itself). But when I really dug into the article, I was actually pretty shocked that something so sex-negative, and olde-tyme anti-porn had made it as a viable piece about a women’s sex party in a local paper. The article wasn’t really about Cake, but was instead a grandstand for the writer to promote her views on women and porn, her extremely negative perceptions about sex workers, and make some seriously sweeping judgments about women who go to (and enjoy) events like Cake parties. I guess it just really bugs me that our local papers never seem to get what’s going on in the vibrant, exciting and edgy world of sexual San Francisco, which is always more evident when we get visits from sex-positive friends from other places. I’m saddened that Cake was treated to such distaste for free expression of female sexuality, because that’s not what we do here. We’re critical, yes, but we understand that fundamentally we’re all on the same side.

I interviewed Emily from Cake today and she gave us her opinion on the piece — and in my mind, what the article should have been about, the party — at SFist, in SFisting: We Ogle The Weekly’s Rack With Cake.

Image: the OG hottie of cupCAKEs and Lusty Lady-ness, Rachel Kramer Bussel, by Paul Sarkis.

I discussed the views put forth in the article heatedly and at length last saturday with Annalee Newitz and Charlie Anders; how could someone be so out of touch with sexuality in San Francisco? I knew sex workers who went to the Cake party — off the clock, or rather, off the brass pole — and just had a plain old fun time. But Strickland’s article saw the women at Cake thusly: “Women who go to Cake parties haven’t seen or experienced the horrors brought up by people like Farley [anti-sexwork feminist quoted throughout the article]. It’s a pretty safe bet that nobody at the Impala was contemplating a career as a sex worker, that none of the attendees had ever been slapped around by a pimp or spent a six-hour shift pole-dancing for ranks of leering men. These unscarred, prosperous girls were just playing.”

Honestly, if you read the article out loud and take a drink every time you say “objectify”, “male gaze”, “feminist”, and “prostitute”, you will get totally wasted. I *knew* Cake was a party! Woo-hoo!

Everything about Strickland’s article was just plain wrong, from the fact that she didn’t even bother to write about the party and contrived a ridiculous link between Cake parties, sex work and porn — to the hateful quotes from anti-prostitution feminists. If you’re going to go *there*, why not ask the unionized women at the local worker-owned Lusty Lady how they feel, too? In the end, Strickland tells us “that when real female sexual empowerment comes along, it will look quite different.” My question is, that since she still thinks women’s sexuality is Playboy magazine, how the fuck will *she* know?

Someone please tell Eliza Strickland that women who like sex are not *whores*.

And as for whores, some of them them really like thier jobs — a favorite comment is from a friend who told me that she went into escorting “because there’s nothing more humiliaitng that waitressing”.

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Tantus loves me

tantus goodiesThis I know. Because my butt plug tells me so. Sing along with me, people!

There was a huge box on my doorstep today; a giant gift from Tantus Silicone. Metis, the woman behind Tantus, is one of my heroes — because I think she single-handedly mainstreamed silicone toys, getting these safe, incredibly pleasurable toys into garden-variety porn shops. It was no small feat; not many people know how insane something like that was to undertake, and to get these smart products into in such an old-boys’ network. She’s worked tirelessly, patiently for years educating creepy old porn distributors as to why they should even care about what people stick into their bodies, and what responsible sex toy retailing means — all to an industry that historically doesn’t give a shit. Now you can find Tantus products *almost everywhere*, including even jack shacks in seedy parts of town all over the US. You go, girl. She is seriously St. Fuckin’ Metis.

Anyway, I sniffed her panties over all of this big time on the Stockroom Forums, and she sent me this incredible thank-you gift. We are all in this together. Jesus in a sparkly rubber thong, I can’t wait to find playmates to review the goodies with!

Pictured: black vibrating FeelDoe Stout (eeheehee!), purple G-Force, purple Bend Over Beginner Harness Kit, copper Ripple Plug, purple vibrating Pro Touch Plug, and a couple things I can’t idenitfy, like the white dildo — which I’m particularly excited about because white dildos are hard to find — and the Charmer dildo; the red thing I have no idea what it is. I’m guessing it’s for clit stim worn on a guy’s cock/balls as a cock ring, or fitted onto/into a harness and dildo rig for clit stim. Please *don’t* tell me if you know. I’m ready to dust off Tiny Nibbles’ Research Labs for the good of Planet Earth to find out. Fortunately for me, Earthlings are easy and “anal probe” is already in the lexicon.

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A beautiful shrimping

kinky gearMy friend Thomas has officially lost his overmedicated, undersexed and almost beautiful mind. Read his review of the Behind Kink opening party, full of gems like:

“I spent years in the marketing field, so I’ll let you in on a not-so-well-kept secret: at these press events, journalists — among whose ranks your cottonmouthed correspondent cockily counts himself as Mencken flips bitches in his grave — are ‘wined and dined,’ as they say, by devious PR folks in an attempt to get us to say nice things about their product. They liquor us up, they stuff us with shrimp, and the next morning we can’t really remember if this JT Argento person was even actually in the movie, and whether Bettie Page was a country singer with a pill problem, or what.”

I would have gone to the event, but their PR guy seriously jerked me around for ideas on how to innovate their sites with RSS, then used my ideas and “forgot” about our meetings. I’ll go to the *next* free-booze-and-shrimp-in-the-dungeon event. Still, I have some cool friends that work at Cybernet, I mean Kink dot com. Go figure.

Image: taken when I got a tour of Kink dot com a month ago; it’s only *part* of their huge bondage gear supply wall.

Update: from Thomas via email two seconds ago, “Right, but I don’t give a fuck WHAT you say, Ariel X DOES have lips like munchable morsels of melty Scharfenberger, and that’s all there is to it.”

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A love note

fatty delicious love note

From Fatty D (aka April Flores)! I don’t think all the DVDs come with notes like these, but it’ll make watching her video this afternoon a lot sweeter!

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