Just did something really crazy

I’m going to calm down by blogging. Tuesday night is trash night on my street. Last tuesday someone upended my trashcan and sorted it all over the street. I spent a long time picking up my trash by hand to set it all out on the curb again this week. Right now (about 12:45am) I was getting ready to go to sleep — t-shirt, panties, and I heard someone in my trashcan outside. I don’t know what I was thinking. I jumped out of bed, pulled on my jeans, put my hair up quick, pulled on my boots — and ran out the door, grabbing the 4′ long black leather single-tail whip by my bedroom door. I just confronted them. I scared the shit out of them. No one was hurt, but it was loud.

Holy shit, I can’t believe I did that.

Now I guess the whip is more than decorative.

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Fetish sex hits Amazon

Woo-hoo! You can now pre-order the book I signed at BEA, Fetish Sex (it’ll be out in a couple weeks). I wrote it (heehee!) and included erotica from my best friend, fellow sex educator Thomas Roche (he custom-wrote the stories to my specifications to go along with the fetishes in each chapter — tres hot and explicit stuff). This book was a serious labor of love and I think it’s a major blow to conservative culture, mainly because I don’t sensationalize fetishes but instead I explain them, why they’re hot, how to use them as sex toys and how to share them with a lover. I think I managed to normalize fetishes without taking the wicked, taboo heat out of them. Yum. There’s never been a book like this, which is why I had to write it.

Check out the entire table of contents after the jump.

* * * * * * *

Fetish Sex

xi Introduction: Confessions of a Fetishist

Chapter 1: Guess My Fetish
What is a fetish? * How do I know if I have a fetish, or just an interest in something? * How do you get a fetish? * Only guys have fetishes, right? * Mother Superior by Thomas Roche

Chapter 2: Sexual Secrets
Fetishes And Relationships * Are you ready to share your fetish? * Does Your Lover Have A Fetish? * How To Start Talking About The Fetish * Sample Conversations And Outcomes * When A Fetish Is Scary Or Disturbing

Chapter 3: Fetishes And Sex
Fetish And Partnered Sex * Things you need to know * Playing with an impossible fetish * Tips For The Fetishist * Tips For Making A Lover’s Fetish Hot * Nurse’s Duties by Thomas Roche

Chapter 4 The Heart of Fetish: Role-Play
Know your roles: a quiz * Okay, so now what do we do? * Sample Control Roles * Sample Receptive Roles * Make it Happen * The main event: what happens in your scene * Job Interview by Thomas Roche

Chapter 5: Fetish Dressing
Fabrics and materials * Common fetishwear items * Corsets and Tight-Lacing * Gloves * Panties * Shoes * Less common fetishwear items * Female Latex Mask Fetish * Cosplay * Dressing and Wearing * Fabrics And Feelings * Leather * Rubber * Going Out: Parties and Events

Chapter 6: Human Animals
What’s great about being a human animal * What’s great about owning or keeping a human animal * Popular Pets: Ponies and Dogs * Pony Play * Dogs and Pups * A Bestiary: Other Animals and Fantasy Creatures * Plushies And Furries * Good Dog by Thomas Roche

Chapter 7: Cross-Dressing and Sissies
Elements of cross dress fetish * Her Hair and Makeup * Shoes * Shaving * What is a sissy boy? * What happens to sissies * Forced Feminization: Tips for the Dominant * Panties and Panty Punishment * Girls’ School by Thomas Roche

Chapter 8: Medical Play and Adult Babies
Medical Fetish * Predicaments * What happens in a medical scene * Medical instruments * The World of Adult Baby and Diaper Lovers * Things the grownup role can do for the adult baby * Babies can play together * AB Gear: Set the Scene * Adult Thumb Sucking * Everything That Ails You by Thomas Roche

Chapter 9: About the Body
Breast Fetish * Butt Fetish * Foot and Leg Fetish * Ear Fetish * Nose Fetish, or Pinnocchia * Hair * Fingernails * Inflation * Scars * Pregnancy and Lactation * Fat Fetish * Chastity, Virginity and Sexual Initiation Scenarios * Wet and Messy Play * Smoking * Amputees and Devotees * Bodily Fluids: Defecation, Spitting, Urination, Vomit, and Expectoration * Forniphilia * Giantesses, Trampling and Being Crushed * Balloons and Looners * Human Mannequins and Robots * Midgets * Tickling * Sleeping * Carrying, or “Lift and Carry” * Necrophilia

Chapter 10: Fetish Sex Rules
Fetish Sex Rule #1: Consent * Illegal Fetishes * Fetish Sex Rule #2: Safer Sex * Fetish Sex Rule #3: Play Safe With Your Ass * Fetish Sex Rule #4: Bondage and BDSM Basics * Fetish Sex Rule #5: Love Your Gift * Panty Tease by Thomas Roche

Chapter 11: Resources
Links * Books * Videos * Community * Shopping

About the Author

About Thomas Roche

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Doing business, now douchier

doucheEver find yourself at a huge book convention surrounded by hundreds of jesus freaks and mainstream publishers who find the word “erotic” too threatening for their products? Ever agree to be on a panel at a ridiculously expensive conference at the behest of a friend and discover the hard way their PR department gave your contact info out to various lists without your consent, and tried to cover it up when you confronted them and yet you still have to go and be on the panel? Then like me, you probably want to stack a set of these cards alongside your regular business cards. (Thanks Jason and Sean!)

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On Derek and Romaine today

I’ve been on Sirius’ OutQ Radio Derek and Romaine show countless times, but it’s been a while since they had me on — so I’ll be on tonight! This show is a *lot* of fun, and it’s the only one I make repeat appearances on. Tune in 4:15 PST/7:15 EST to hear us talk about all kinds of filthy dirty things. You can listen here (free trial signup; popup warning).

Here I am with D&R after a live appearance in the Sirius studios 10 months ago.

Update: Yaaayyyy! That was fun! Stuff we talked about, links: my recent favorite new toy (in medium), Pink and White Productions, The Crash Pad, Damon and Hunter, House of Ass, the crazy lesbian bread party… oh, and spanking (their intern) Bobby. (I really need to find pictures of this.)

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Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that her wheelchair catches on fire?

Major warning and disclaimer: the link I’m sharing is wrong and gross and very un-PC and will make you bite the heads off baby puppies if you read it.

Okay, now that’s out of the way, my rabidly athiest sex-ed pals stuck in the hellhole of Colorado Springs send me this out-of-control “have you ever fucked a girl so hard…” one-up AIM exchange, right in time to get you ready for 06.06.06. Just know that some of the worst of these are from a *girl*. A few faves, snipped:

ATRetka (10:12:59 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard, she throws up her Happy Meal?
daniellevicek (10:26:46 AM): have you ever fucked a girl so hard she gets shaken baby syndrome and her four year old big brother starts crying uncontrollably and then their mom sues you for emotional distress?
daniellevicek (10:43:38 AM): have you ever fucked a girl so hard that you totally gave her a root canal?
ATRetka (10:53:22 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that her spinobifida spontaneously heals?
daniellevicek (11:07:34 AM): ‘have you ever fucked a girl so hard you dried out all her sharpies?
daniellevicek (11:11:10 AM): have you ever fucked a girl so hard donald rumsfeld shook your hand?
ATRetka (10:49:15 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that your slapping bodies set off her Clapper?
darksandal (10:52:16 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that she grew a beard?
darksandal (10:53:41 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that hippies showed up and started a drum circle?
ATRetka (11:03:02 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that you’re facing east and you reverse the spin of the earth and you end up fucking her INTO THE PAST?
ATRetka (11:03:54 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that she opens a chain of discount tire stores?
darksandal (11:04:37 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that her myspace account disappears?

Read more, but not while you’re eating. Thanks Noel!

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Mmm, deadline

xmen-mystique.jpgI have a book due soon; I did 3,000 words today after SRL. Three chapters down, five to go. w00t! After I finished one tonight I felt it was “miller time”. I’m sipping my usual Campari and cruising for trouble on the outernets; coincidentally my pal Chriso’s bf Red sent me this awesome Campari ad. Yet another reason I drink the stuff.

I saw X-Men 3 on friday night after hanging out with them at Kink.com; here were my email thoughts to Red about the film:

> hmm, X-men, such a mixed bag. my thoughts:

* the editor should have been fired before production started
* there were probably too many writers
* whoever took Rogue out of the movie and made her go human should be shot
* same about Mystique
* Wolverine’s pants not coming off in the last scene MADE NO SENSE. I
will file a protest with some international organization about this
* I like the idea of Magneto living in the Castro now playing chess in
GG park and getting his powers back
* the bridge scenes made me jump up in my chair and want to see the movie again
* totally didn’t get the saving the kid theme, but he had sexy Wil
Wheaton eyelashes
* I *loved* the magneto dyke sidekicks. like in a leg-humpy way.

Image via.

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